SPICY PEANUT HUMMUS WITH JOHNNY AND BURL

I am not frequently at Walmart. In fact I have been there twice in my life, both times at the one out on West Broad in Short Pump. Both times looking for cans of boiled peanuts. The first time I left empty handed and defeated, convinced that the teenager looking at me quizzically while unpacking flats of Greek yogurt thought I had conjured up the existence of such a thing.
The second time, triumphantly resulted in the dish I am about to share with you, Boiled Peanut Hummus!

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The hardest part of making this briny and earthy dip is coaxing those water-logged peanuts out of their shells where they’ve been incubating to a tasty, albeit mushy perfection. Fresh boiled peanuts are better of course, but they are harder to come by in Richmond (which does not make sense to me, Virginia being a peanut state and all). I’ve only ever seen them frozen sold on the side of the road out by Forest Hill. Anyway, I believe that these mushier specimens make for a smoother hummus anyway. That electric orange you see lining the bowl is chili oil from Peter Chang’s Cafe conveniently located in the same strip mall as the Walmart. I always plead with the servers there to give me a small take out container of the stuff, which I am deeply addicted to. This is not a recipe as I don’t think I have ever followed a recipe for hummus, you just sort of make it until it’s right.

Boiled Peanut Hummus
One or two (depending on how many are to eat) cans of boiled peanuts available at Walmart
1/4 to 1/2 cup of Sesame Tahini
Juice from one lemon
1 or 2 cloves garlic, smashed (optional)
Olive Oil

Shell peanuts and toss in a food processor, skins and all if they have them. Add tahini, lemon and garlic. Process until smooth (this can take a bit) while slowly adding oil in a steady stream. I sometimes will add some yogurt or a bit of water to help things along.
Once it is smooth as I can get it, I put it in a bowl in the fridge to meld the flavors a bit. When ready to serve, garnish (or mercilessly drown, as in the above picture) with your favorite spicy condiment. Sit down with some veggies or crackers and go to town.

WHEN I DIP YOU DIP WE DIP!

Here in Hurriquake land, it’s hard to find time to make food, photograph it and then write about it, so I decided to do some spelunking on my flickr account and uncover some pics that I can yammer about, lest Food Punk slip into the land of the lost food blogs..(I am already there, I know)

What we are looking at here is an old flame of mine. This summer I revisited my love of Onion Dip but I took it back to the old house, if you will. I went out and I bought Lipton Onion Soup mix and sour cream and Greek yogurt and I made straight up 70’s style Onion Dip. Usually when I make onion dip, (Thanksgiving, BBQs, Easter, breakfast…) I lop off the bottom and top of a giant Vidalia or yellow onion and roast the thing for a good 30-40 mins. Then chop it up and further caramelize it awhile with some herbs and olive oil. The rest is what you would expect, add dairy and refrigeration while you decide how best to get the stuff into your mouth. Veggies? Chips? Crackers? A spoon? So the return to a packaged mix was sort of like dating the wild, bad boy older brother of your straight laced high school sweetheart. (I’m hypothesizing here)

I don’t recall why I strayed from this recipe these past few months but I think it had something to do with the shining sun, a pitcher of something cold and boozy and these new ultra thin “Ode to the Potato Chip” chips I saw at Trader Joes. I prefer my dipping chips on the razor blade thin side, no ridged chips for me, thanks.

So suddenly, I was trolling the market, looking for that bright blue box filled with MSG, dehydrated onion and other “spices”. To be honest, I did taste test a natural one, but it was so sharp, and had way too much powdered garlic. I was trying to recreate a childhood taste and high brow ingredients would not do!

Of course I do not want to subject everyone to my wanton ways, so if you are a guest in my home chances are you will be served homemade onion dip ala these pictures or if I am short on time a hybrid dip with both the packaged mix and some caramelized bits thrown in. Lucky you!

HOT PEPPER PARTY

Like everybody else, I have been reading the Times and spied a super simple hot sauce recipe that I could not stop thinking about. I have been tangling with peppers all summer actually, trying to make hot pepper jelly and instead letting them all go bad or using them in taco related dinners.

Today at Byrd Market I picked up less than a peck of peppers, proceeded to procure a plethora of produce and pranced home post haste to parlay them into a perfect pepper sauce.
They had all sorts of specimens at the market, Chocolate Habanero, Red Lantern, Jalapeno, and yellow Belgium. So I took the most colorful and shiny of the bunch.

This is how it went down.

I’m no fool so I grabbed a pair of gloves. I cut up 8 hot peppers. I added a large sweet red pepper as directed by the nice lady in the Times. I crushed 3 fat cloves of garlic and into a heavy bottomed sauce pan went all of them. I added a large pinch of salt. Twice. I poured about a half cup of vinegar in and over medium heat, simmered until the peppers soaked up all the liquid. I carefully transferred the mixture into a blender and pureed until I had a smooth a uniform liquid. Then just as carefully, I poured all that hot pepper goodness into a bottle with the help of a funnel.

At this point Marty came into the kitchen and exclaimed “Whew! Peppers!” and clutched at his face.
They did indeed permeate the kitchen…yes there was much sneezing …but now we have HOT SAUCE.
One of the greatest inventions in all mankind. if you don’t believe me, go ask a bowl of grits.

PICKLED ONIONS FOR TACOS

My wonderful and darling friend Molly whom I miss ferociously, taught me to do this to red onions.

Slice red onions thinly ( I use a mandoline)
Squeeze lots of fresh lime juice on them
Keep refrigerated for a few hours

It’s kind of like onion ceviche and they turn limp and DELICIOUS and make a dazzling accompaniment to tacos of all kinds and sandwiches and anything else that needs a sassy kick in this warm weather. Do it.

Sidenote: They look like tentacles, don’t they?

YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT

However, you can make do with what you have, right?

So I am loving it in my adopted city thus far. The people are great, the weather is a true test of my Northern character and the food is good.
Good.

Now before I start a war, let me make perfectly clear that I have found excellent food here. But he who tries to compare the foodways of a city of 9 million to that of a city of under 300,000….well you can see where I am going with this. There are going to be times when I can’t get what I want.
Invention, is the sometimes arrogant and demanding child of necessity fortunately and so, last night when I pined for a salsa I was heavily addicted to at a taqueria in Brooklyn, I made it myself.
I know what you are saying,
“All this song and dance for a mere slasa- is she bat sh*# crazy?”
Well yes, I am but this salsa has little to do with it. It does have to do with Pepitas and Chiles de Arbol.
Pumpkin seed and chile salsa is like no other Mexican condiment I have ever experienced. It’s downright magical. Earthy, familiar and with a searing kick that arrives on your tongue just as you reach in to take another taste. It’s the type of food item that merits a nice eye closing as you try it the first time, you know?
The place in Brooklyn created a perfectly smooth, saucy texture, almost cheese-sauce like in the way it coated your tortilla chip.
“Making do” does not always yield identical results of course and I felt like my reenactment was close but it could stand to be perfected. I am obviously really looking forward to that process.
This salsa is quite the charmer, so be prepared to have a new taco sauce buddy in your life.

Pumpkin Arbol Salsa
Adapted from (snif, snif, my beloved) Calexico.

1 Half cup Pumpkin Seeds
6 Arbol Chiles (or any other hot chili)
1 Half Onion, Sliced
5 Cloves Garlic, Smashed
1 Handful Cilantro ( I omitted this as we had a cilantro hater in the house)
A pinch of salt
1/2 Cup Water
1/2 Cup Rice Wine Vinegar
Vegetable Oil
Add cilantro and blend.
Toast the pumpkin seeds in a dry pan over high heat until they start to pop.
Throw in your chiles until they start to brown.
Take them out and set aside.
Caramelize onions & garlic in same pan with a touch of oil over medium heat.
Season with salt.
Blend chiles, pumpkin seeds, onions, garlic, vinegar and water in a blender until silky.
I used the food processor as I my blender remains packed away somewhere, hence no silkiness for me, but still plenty of delicious.

LAST NAME CRAZY, FIRST NAME MUSTARD.

It is a close race for my favorite condiment. I have already confessed my feelings when it comes to Mayo. Truthfully though, mustard is close at it’s heels and gets ahead on the regular. So last week I had a thought. Wouldn’t it be nice to open up a gift and find some delicious homemade mustard in there! Yes! It would!
Now my allegiances in the mustard world lean toward the Dijon and the spicy. If I can’t tell it’s in there, than it is not doing it’s job.
First thing I did was to find a couple types of mustard seed. I found yellow mustard seed in my pantry but set out to Sahadi’s to find a dark seed to add depth and fire. Next I got some dry white wine of the french variety. I wanted it to have the kick of Dijon but the coarse “git er done” qualities of a brown pub mustard. A working man’s mustard that can class it up if need be.

I wanted to make enough for giving but have some for us as well, so if you just want to try just one small batch divide these quantities by 4.

12 tablespoons yellow mustard seeds

10 tablespoons brown mustard seeds

1 and 1/3 cup drinking-quality white wine

1 and 1/3 cup white wine vinegar

3 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon white pepper

1 teaspoon allspice

Soak all ingredients overnight in a non reactive bowl. I soaked mine for about 20 hours. Transfer into a food processor and whirl till it’s the consistency you want. I sterilized some jars and used a pastry bag to fill them.
As mustard is one of those blank palette foods, like butter and mayo, this is the gateway to all sorts of flavors. There’s the obvious of course, honey, beer, red wine, but what about garlic and ginger, chiles or fig! And what about mustard powders? I need more occasions that require homemade gifting!!